Wednesday, April 18, 2007

Why I'm AuntieB, Part 2

I totally understand that most people think the way my pastor's wife and all those deacon's wives think.

Why wouldn't it work that when you're in service to God? And why wouldn't he bless your marriage with a house full of kids? Doesn't scripture say, "Lo, children are an heritage of the LORD: and the fruit of the womb is his reward. As arrows are in the hand of a mighty man; so are children of the youth. Happy is the man that hath his quiver full of them." (Psalm 127:3-5a)?

Then why, oh why, is this happening to me?!?!? I don't understand.

There's a phrase that I've heard used about prayer requests - it's "labor in prayer". Like a woman labors having a child, that's the way we sometimes "labor" in prayer over some things. This was one of those things. Days and nights were spent weeping and crying out to God about us not having children because this happening to us wasn't fair. I've spent my whole life in church and involved myself in music and kids ministries.

Was God not happy with my service? Was I doing it half-hearted? I just didn't know what was wrong. And then, I heard Him. That's right. I heard Him speak to me as clear as you would speak to me. He said, "Why are you worried about this? I have the plan all laid out for you. If you will continue in your ministries and be obedient, you will see what I have planned for you. It's stuff you can't even imagine."

Well, that was all I needed to hear. I was done "laboring" over this. It was on to bigger and better things...